July 2012
21 posts
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Tonight, as I close my eyes to fall asleep, I’m going to think of you. I’ll envision a chance meeting that ignites forgotten feelings that lead to our ‘happily ever’ after all.
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I can’t explain this, nor do I have the right to. It’s a slip from reality into the pits of darkness that are ever brewing within myself. It’s flushed cheeks and shimmering green eyes and laughter yet unmatched. It was an escape from myself, from the most horrifying regions of my psyche and you bravely reached your hand under the tumultuous waves to save me from myself.
I...
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Every once in awhile I slip under the waves and I would love to simply lay limp and be taken out to sea. Tears tickle at my eyes threatening retreat at any moment, but for what I know not.
I sail on highs and lows and the highs are just as thrilling as the lows are terrifying. Can you feel the pressure of the falling sky squeezing me dry as I pray to die?
Thankfully there is a small part of...
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As I lie in bed, still warm from your touch, I stare at the ceiling replaying the scenes between us. Your tongue caressing every inch of my flesh as I pull at your hair, moaning with eagerness. The bed has grown cold but I can still feel your breath on my neck, your lips against mine as you thrust deep inside. I dissolve into you, every moment that you’re near, absorbing every sensation...
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Quarantine the girl with the infectious kiss before she draws blood with her fanged laughter. She’s wicked, you know, absolutely deadly. One brush of those lips and you’re a dead man. Don’t listen to your heart’s lying pleas. You’re standing with your back to your grave and when you fall in love with her taste, you’ll be falling into your final resting...
Anonymous asked: Is there a point to life? I simply don't see the point in living. I'm not suicidal, but still.
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Time
In eight years, my life will be completely different.
In six years, I’ll be moving across the country.
In four years, I’ll be working as a nurse, taking classes for my bachelor’s in nursing.
In two years, I’ll quit my job to enter my residency.
In one year, Kara will be in Kindergarten.
A year a ago, I felt like giving up on everything - life seemed that hopeless.
Two...
4 tags
I scribble and etch these words on the wall, teetering on this ladder, one wobble from falling. But what would it matter in the end if I can’t release this colors that dance within my head. I can’t capture the coral of this passion that’s brewing. I can’t write of the teal that’s peeling my skin away from my skull and for nothing at all - it’s all pain, no...
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She leaned close to his ear, one foot propped on his bar stool. “Just being this close to you has started passion’s water flowing,” she whispered, taking his hand and burying it under the waves of her dress.
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I’m in town. Would you like to grab a drink?
The words echoed in my mind as I sat at the hotel bar awaiting her arrival. I only had one objective: maintain control, but images of taught skin and parted lips kept flashing in my vision and I had to breathe deeply, repeating again and again ‘maintain control.’
Suddenly the clicking of stilettos approached the bar. I...
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There are words clawing and scratching at my skull screaming of all the things I can never say aloud. Once I speak it, once I say it, once the air has time to carry it far away from my mouth, then the word will be out and I cannot stop the hurricane it will create, swirling with the wind - my fiery words, my icy heart - a storm that will destroy me.
It’s not that I don’t love you,...
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These bars fit so neatly in the palms of my hands like crayons to a child drawing the world how they see it. If it wasn’t for the bitter sting of the cold metal, it might not feel like prison as I sit here waiting for the inevitable.
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Love like waves in blackened caves without a heartbeat to fade the resounding shades of crimson. The waves pulse against the ridged walls and echo. They echo (echo) and echo along with a thump (thump) thump against my rib bones. I shudder. Ice water warming my veins and the pain pierces like a coral reef sinking deeply into my flesh, painting my sin in reds on my untouched skin.
Do you...
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Oh, how I loved you, forest eyes and blinding smile. You’d melt my defenses and warm my heart with no effort on your part other than parting those lips so sweetly and serenely as I dissolved into putty you held in your rough hands, easily mailable, wholly yours.
Oh, how I loved you, kerosine and ketamine. You’d dip me in poison before setting your fire upon me. Oh, how I’d burn for you,...
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I spent all day lost in thoughts of you, thinking things I shouldn’t be. I spent hours imagining a life that exists years from now, a not so distant future that flickers dimly within my heart.
I push them away - it’s too soon, it’s too soon. Haven’t I hurt enough people with promises I couldn’t keep because of situations I couldn’t change.
Alas, my mind...
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Echoed whispers infiltrate my dreams like submarines, undetected, unnoticed. I awake in cold sweats as the ghosts of your touch disappear and I’m greeted with my fear that you are not here. Cold and dark room, empty bed with tear stained sheets and monsters dancing on the walls, celebrating my defeat.
How many more sleepless nights can I lie in before the crying will cease and leave me...
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How many more mason jars must I fill before my heart stops pumping the poison into my veins? Won’t the reels of film wear already so the movie clips stop repeating? I find myself pulled under by the currents of heartache long ago. The stitches are holding, the wounds since scarred and healed yet the pin pricks still pick at the pain like it was only yesterday, the image of you walking away...
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Day wasted as I’m wasting away, fading into the drizzle as my head spins dizzy fleeting falling nothingness - I crack. Unable to look back as the cacophony of angry diatribes echoes off the corridors of my mind, hemispheres screaming and shrieking in pain and I placate the talking heads that bobble past my doorway. Frontal cortex vortex highlighting important information in black ink and I...
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Do you ever wish you could record a feeling and play it back to remember every sensation, every scent, every awe inspiring detail?
Like sitting on the porch in the rain where the breeze is crisp and refreshing and the air smells alive. The pitter patter of falling drops releases and calming cacophony and for a moment the entire world feels at peace.
Or when you accomplish something great and it...
