Oh, how I loved you, forest eyes and blinding smile.  You’d melt my defenses and warm my heart with no effort on your part other than parting those lips so sweetly and serenely as I dissolved into putty you held in your rough hands, easily mailable, wholly yours.

Oh, how I loved you, kerosine and ketamine. You’d dip me in poison before setting your fire upon me.  Oh, how I’d burn for you, blazing flames, inexhaustible, unwavering, all consuming.  Passion and sweat, touches to forget, fingering scars that will last a lifetime and an ache that will reach into my grave.

Oh, how I loved you, gunshots and incisions.  Cutting me deeply and filling the wound with cigarette ash, you’d vanish only to make me long for your healing return.  Clandestine kiss and ferocious fist, one last wish to remain in your bliss.  Bruises unseen, unnoticed, ignored, but outside of your pain was a life I abhorred.

Oh, how I loved you, chaotic highs and suicidal lows.  I’d lay within your presence without fear of what danced behind your eyelids. All I remember now is a fragile creature crying, quivering with sadness as I sat in panic unable to reach out.  Broken promises are tattooed on my heartbeats, wondering which regret is caging me in this sorrow.

Oh, how I loved you.

Oh, how I loved you.

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